Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
