i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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