i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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