i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
