come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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