We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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