i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
