Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
you inspire me to be a worse person
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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