it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
