I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
