Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
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