My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
