508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
