please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
