I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
