bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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