I hope mine doesn't look like that
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
