No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
