Sponge bath it is.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
