Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
