I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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