why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
