Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
