my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
