I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
