Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
