Sry I called you an 8
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
