it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
