My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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