I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
