RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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