Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
