Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
