Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I believe in your delicious
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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