I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
