No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
OPIZZABONMYDICK
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
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