During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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