ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
