Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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