Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
