he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
