Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
