I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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