Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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