If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
