He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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