They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
