I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
