Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
