if you like me you must not know who I am
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
