those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
