Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
