doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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