i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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