his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
