Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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