Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
