Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
